How can you keep yourself stress free and your child safe on social networking sites?

As adults (parents and others above the age of 21 years who can influence younger children) our actions are being closely followed more than our words. And with the written word being cut short from OK to K, children are moving at a really fast pace to absorb everything in the environment created in real life and in cyber life. There are certain rules around social networking that parents can follow in their homes to create a safe and open environment for the entire family. As always communication is key! 

Click the photo to see the video blog!

How and when do I talk with my children about stranger danger?

Given the recent spate of messages on face book and what's app regarding a small boy being approached by some men in a car, I thought it might be a good idea to discuss some safety measures we can take to prevent any unfortunate incidents with our children.

This is a subject that is very difficult for us to talk to our children about and sometimes we do not wish to face the reality that our children can be faced with a dangerous situation from a stranger. Unfortunately there is enough statistics to show us how 'real' the danger of ‘strangers’ is. And however much we would like to push the thought away we need to first face the reality ourselves before empowering our little ones.

As our children begin to grow their wings and leave the safety of their

home to enter the 'real world', stranger danger is a subject that we need to educate them about. 

We will look at 7 strategies to first get clarity on how you as a parent will approach the subject of stranger danger and then help your children outline clear steps on what to say and do incase they face such a danger.

As a parent you might think, that once you have secured admission for your child in a reputed school you could put your feet up for the next thirteen years and at the end of that, out will come your child educated and wise to face college and life.

Unfortunately, many parents who have older children will warn you against any such complacent ideas – because a good school does not equal a good teacher, does not equal a child who will fare well.

Today a mother has written in complaining:

My child has got a terrible math’s teacher and will obviously fare badly, what can I do?

In my life coaching work with both children and parents I tend to argue this particular point on the basis of how we deal with poor leadership in our professional lives. How as a professional, you might be thrown into the deep end to put together a project or a presentation without any background information. What you rely upon to be successful is your sense of responsibility to complete the task and your resourcefulness to get the job despite the lack of information.

How do I get my child to follow a routine without having to repeat myself?

Do you feel like a broken or stuck recorder? Repeating the same instructions day in and day out. As soon as a regular school routine sets in, it does bring parents lots of relief but it also means coping against time. Brush your teeth, do your homework, go to bed, wake up - as parents it feels like we are a stuck record!

Today's blog helps you to apply easy strategies to get your children to not only listen to you but also follow through on auto-pilot!

How do I get my child to follow a routine without repeating myself?

  

Today we will look at strategies in which you can communicate in a manner that your child understands and thereby follows the everyday routine without constantly being reminded by you.

  

1) Have a list of to-dos put up where your child can see it. If your child is too young then put up photos, visuals of the things you want him to do before going to school – like brushing teeth, combing hair, taking his lunch box etc. In the case of older children you can just put up reminder lists where they see them and follow through.

2) Before you start to say something to your child or give him instructions to follow, check whether you have his attention. Just the way when you are busy reading this email and someone calls for your attention, you are so rapt in reading this, that you miss out half the words. In the same way if your child is doing something, then check whether he is listening to you.

3) After you have got his attention, make eye contact and speak to him. And the best way to teach your child the skills of eye contact is when you model it for him. So when you are reading this and your child calls out, you need to stop looking at your computer or phone and turn and look at your child. This models to your child the importance of eye contact when speaking and listening to others.

 4) As a parent you are in a position of authority, however it is important to see his point of view. Is your child engrossed in his favourite activity, just the way you get absorbed by your favourite TV serial, that you blank out the rest of the world. Sometimes children are enjoying themselves watching their TV serial, reading a book or activity that they unconsciously block you out. So see your child’s point of view when giving him instructions.

 5) Seek your child’s cooperation by firstly asking him in a tone, which is warm, loving and firm. There is no need to give orders. Give your child a choice of time or activity asking him if he could do the required task immediately or prefer to do it after 15 minutes. That way you empower your child and make him feel responsible by gaining his cooperation. This also helps to inculcate decision-making skills by making choices.

6) KISS – keep your instructions and communication short and simple. On busy school days children are on limited time, and to make the most of what you want them to do make your communication simple and to the point.

Action: Together with your child put together a to-do list he needs to follow before school and after he comes back from school. When you do this together, he has a say in it and feels responsible for completing the tasks.

Sunaina Vohra                            Youth & Family Life Coach

Athena Life Coaching

www.athenalifecoaching.com

FB: Athena Coaching Solutions

sunainaathena@gmail.com

How do I encourage my child who is confident in certain areas but lacks confidence in trying out new activities.

With the summer holidays being left behind and both children and parents getting into the school routine, everyone seems to be struggling a bit. Just the same way we struggle to move that cozy quilt off us to get out of bed and start a new day. That is a one-minute struggle, but there are other cozy comfortable areas we have that we find difficult to break through.

Our children, who are back to school, now face many decisions they need to make like which extra-curricular activities to pursue and which to give up. Children tend to want to pursue those activities that are familiar and they have developed some sort of expertise in, and avoid those activities that are challenging and completely new – outside their comfort zone.

Today’s blog answers a question by a mum:

My child is confident in certain areas but lacks confidence in trying out new activities.

We will look at strategies to help your child understand how he is allowing his comfort zone to take over and what you as a parent can do to help him break out of it and try new activities without apprehension.

Help your child understand:

    1) The imbalance in confidence levels he/she feels. Explain to your child the reason he is generally confident in some areas is because of the positive beliefs he has formed in those areas. But he has also formed some negative beliefs that are holding him/her back from trying the new activity.

    2) That what is holding him/her back is their comfort zone. That they have become comfortable in a particular activity, become used to it so much that anything new is challenging and daunting. And that they would rather avoid something new and stay in the ‘known’ activity that has become familiar and easy for them.

    3) That the negative beliefs they have formed have originated from various sources like – friends, family, media and the environment. And not necessarily something that is theirs. And it is within their power to understand, know and break through those negative beliefs.

    4) Encourage your child to be bold and to take risks. That it is ok to fail as long as they have tried something outside the norm. Give your child permission to fail and explain that failure is the stepping-stone to success. Encouraging your child to take risks and allowing him to fail will eventually create risk-takers who will become young leaders in their school and community.

    5) Encourage your child to DECLARE their dream!

Get your child to make a Vision Board that is a visual reminder of their goals and dreams, which should be put up on the wall where he can see it and connect with on a daily basis. Talk to your child about his dreams so that he continues to feel motivated and inspired to take action on a daily basis towards it.

Action: Help your child understand WHY they are lacking confidence in a particular area, what is the negative belief holding them back and to BREAK IT!

 

Sunaina Vohra                       
Youth & Family Life Coach

Athena Life Coaching

www.athenalifecoaching.com

FB: Athena Coaching Solutions
sunainaathena@gmail.com

Importance of Creativity

In today's time creativity is being replaced by i pads, cartoons and the like. What exactly is happening that is making such a change? Low tolerance of parents or the attractive of such gadgets and shows?

Why on the other hand creativity is under estimated? Mums you need to realize that creativity can help teach your child cognitive skills that go up to the extend of mathematics and scientific thinking. It can even in the long run act as problem solving as well as help with future literacy skills. 

Still thinking how?