Helping Your Child to Manage Anger

It's not only adults that have anger management issues. I've seen my own kids burst out in anger to match the worst of my temper tantrums, and that's saying something, me being a tad hot blooded. This can lead to a host of mixed emotions, none of which are pleasant.

When your child looks you in the eye with defiance and then throws a fit, an immediate thought of retaliation crosses the mind quite naturally, but we all know that doesn't end well don't we?

So how do you manage things in the heat of the moment? What's the right approach? Well in all honesty, there is no one magic formula. But a couple of time proven tips could lead to more a calmer resolution in a more quicker time frame and possibly, with some luck, a more cooler temperament for both of you.

Not perfect by a long shot, nor will I ever be, but I do like to think that I am now somewhat better than I was ten fifteen years ago when I had newly dipped my feet into the perilous waters of parenthood.

In Children........

How I Did the Impossible

How often is it that we get mad angry at someone else's tiniest of faults? Everyday? Every minute? Heck, there are people who are angry every nano second of the day, don't ask me how that's even possible. But the fact is, anger is always right around the corner. You drop your hotdog, you kick the trash can in anger. You are overtaken by a land cruiser, you curse in anger. Even when you lose a game of candy crush, you punch the air in anger.

Little do we know how harmful anger is to our health, as well as our relationships. 

There was a time when anger used to be my response to life. It came as easy to me as did breathing. I used to blame it on my genes, but to be honest, I never realized it could also be controlled. Time passed, situations changed and new relations came into being. I had huge responsibilities. But my anger fits continued. Whenever something didn't go my way, I would lose my mind. 

One day, I was helping my daughter with her homework. As it is, I had very little patient when it came to teaching (or so I thought). After explaining the concept of addition to her, I asked her to do it herself. She turned up blank. I started getting annoyed, my voice getting high pitched every passing second. Uh oh! thought my daughter. I explained again, making my annoyance very obvious. This time again my daughter didn't understand, but looked at me with so much sadness in her eyes for the fear of going through my wrath of hell. And yes I was about to act like a madwoman for all the anger that I was about to throw her way, but something stopped me. It was the fear in her eyes. It hit me. What was I about to do? Why should I throw my frustrations her way? She doesn't deserve all this, she's just an innocent soul trying her very best. And that's the moment when I decided to control the beast in me.

It wasn't an easy task, trying to keep that flaring emotion at bay. But Dua and supplications helped me out. Eventually I learnt to control my anger, taking certain steps.

- Every time I got angry, the first thing I did was stop talking. It is very easy to say words you don't mean during that time. And a word spoken can never be taken back.

- I would repeat Duas in my head. This helped calm me down and pushed that bubble of anger to one side of my brain. It helped me think clearer.

- I then had to find a way to get rid of the my frustrations, without harming anyone. A run on the treadmill always helped. That took care of the buildup.

I was proud of my accomplishment, and gradually I became very patient. Life became so much more better. My relationships improved, and people stopped tiptoeing around me and we're much more happier. And I realised patience can get a lot more done than two angry words can ever.

So dear readers, taking control of your anger may seem like the toughest thing at first, but once you take on help from Allah and learn to control your own self, nothing can stand in your way. Not even your own crazy self. 

And that's it for today, till next week. Have the greatest weekend and spend special time with your kids and loved ones! And control that anger! *wink*