Resolving Parent-Teacher Conflicts

It's happened to all parents at one point or another, whether it be a negative written comment on an assignment, or a phone call or a conversation during PTA time. She'll say something that will hurt your feelings and that protective instinct kicks in and all you want to do is set the teacher straight. To me a complaint from the teacher is very stressful, and to complain about a teacher very difficult. It took me years to get a grip on how to handle the situation in a way that would actually help the child.

How can we improve our relationships during Diwali?

During Diwali we spring clean our homes to welcome Goddess Laxmi. So all the dirt, cobwebs and old things are taken out and discarded. We refresh and clean and then we buy new clothes, new and fresh things for the house.

So in the same way we must use this beautiful festival of Diwali to do the same with our relationships. Use the festive time to freshen our relationships by removing the past negativity.

However, relationships are more complicated and EGO plays a very big role in hindering us from improving our relations.

Ego is a very tough thing and one of the reasons for relationships to go sour. But if you realize that ego is the stale smelly old food in the fridge – that will not only smell, but it will also pass on the bacteria and rot the other foods causing the whole house to become sick and infected. You will realize how you can use this Diwali season to not only clear the rotting food items, old clothes, disinfect the house, but the house we all have INSIDE ourselves – our feelings and emotions. It is so important to get rid of those negative feelings, emotions that are only causing sickness in our relationships and family and clear them out by LETTING GO & FORGIVING.

How do I help my child who is finding it difficult to get accepted and make new friends in his new school?

When a child joins a new school there are a couple of challenges he or she might face, the toughest being acceptance by classmates and winning friends. And during the pre-teen and teen years this issue gets even more compounded as children tend to form groups based on certain parameters and it gets even tougher for a new student to gain acceptance into one of these closed peer circles.

With the start of the new academic year children moving into new schools or children arriving from other countries have to go through the slow and often challenging process of not only getting accustomed to a new school but also trying to ‘fit in’ and be accepted by their classmates and new friends.

And parents often witness the frustration and breakdown of their child’s self-confidence, sometimes leading to loss of grades and resistance to going to school.

So today’s question by a worried parent who asks:

How do I help my child who is finding it difficult to get accepted and make new friends in his new school?

1)   As children grow into their pre-teen and teen years they tend to grow their identity separate from their parents and family. The single largest influencing factor in the creation of this new identity is their peer group. As a Youth Coach, in my sessions with young children I have found out the labels and names of these peer groups are: ‘The Cool Group’ or ‘The Nerdy Group’ or “The Sporty Group’ and children then form those typical identities to become parts of those groups. So it might take your child some time to discover himself, which group he might best fit into, so give it some time.

2)   During this unsettling period, support and nurture your child as his self-confidence might get a little shaky. Help him to focus on his strengths so as to maintain his self-confidence.

3)   Discuss with your child the characteristics he is looking for in his friends. What kind of friends does he want to make? Sporty? Academics? Chatty?

      What are the characteristics he needs to develop, because to attract good friends, he needs to          be a good friend.

4)   For you to be able to expand your child’s group of friends you could become more active in the parental support group in school. In this way not only would you make more friends, you could also invite other parents children from different classes to your home. You could organize a bowling evening for some children from your child’s class so he has an opportunity to spend time with them outside school.

5)   Encourage your child to foster friendships outside the school through the sports club, music classes or playground.

6)   Role-play. Sit with your child and discuss what he is passionate about, whether it is about a sports personality, music, art, some facts, some fun thing, a new game, something unique that he can share with his classmates and new friends; so that they begin to notice him and want him to be part of their group.

Action: Sit with your child and let him role-play 2-3 things he can talk to his classmates about so as to pique their interest, and help him to break the ice and start new friendships.

Sunaina Vohra

Youth & Family Life Coach

Athena Life Coaching

www.athenalifecoaching.com

Youtube: Athena Life Coaching

FB: Athena Coaching Solutions

Ph: (+971)-56-1399033

To be...or not to be friends?

We all have had friends as early as we can remember. When we were young, we had playmates who would find our hiding spot and share crisps with us. The ones who sat next us in the class would then be invited to our birthday parties. And eventually be named our 'best friend'. 

 

 As we got older, our schools might have changed or place moved. We got new friends there. Some nice and some not so nice. The hormonal teenage years would throw us together where guys and makeup were concerned. Go to the movies together. Then colleges and universities have us make other friends. And so it goes on. 

The number of best friends that we might have gone through may be numerous. But have you ever had reunions with your older 'best friends'? It's so easy to find people through networking these days. The world has definitely shrunk to a size of Facebook in that sense. Look them up and voila!, they are staring back at you through there pimped up profile picture. 

Right back at my question then. When you meet up with your older friends, does it seem awkward? Do you feel like you just don't know why you were friends with her in the first place? Or does it feel like you just continued on from where you left off? Best buds forever and ever?

I recently met a good friend who I just couldn't go a minute without sharing every life detail with. We were really good friends. But we lost touch when she moved away and things kinda cooled down. I would miss her terribly. There were times when I couldn't find one person who I could share my heart out with. So I ended up going to her. Eventually we drifted apart. 

Then she came back few days ago. We met up. And I felt like I don't even know her. All through the time we caught up, I kept thinking as to why we became best friends in the first place? I felt like she was too immature, too creepy. And it just made me immensely sad.

But I realized that as people grow and surroundings change, so do our mentalities and views. The people that we were at the same frequency with a long time back, would have opposite views now. That's why people grow, drift and come back. 

After all we are just humans. :)

Communication - The solution

Good morning mums!

Today I will be talking about issues related to maternal relationship, that is relationship between a husband and a wife. Something we all want to discuss, but never get the guts to *wink wink*.

Afcourse no marriage is perfect and no bond the strongest. We have all had our issues from day to day. And those issues tend to build up these frustrations inside us, specially when we got no one close to discuss with. And that specially goes for most of our members living in the UAE away from their mommies and sisters.

That leads me to our topic for today, Communication.

90% of issues between a husband and wife is because of lack of communication between the two. Misunderstandings are created when one of the spouses misinterprets the others actions or words. Let's have a case study here, a very 'in the season' too.

It's Valentines Day. Aisha and Ali have been together for almost 5 years now. Every Valentine's he sends Aisha a bouquet of roses and chocolates through the mail. This valentines things are different. Ali left for work early today. Aisha has been excitedly waiting for her roses and chocolates since morning. Day passes slowly, and night falls. Ali comes home to a very depressed and angry wife. He has had a long day at work and was hoping to spend some quality time with his loving wife, but Aisha's bizarre behavior really confuses him. He has dinner alone. The silence is deafening. This angers him since he doesn't understand what he did wrong. Ayesha sits in her bedroom reading her book and goes to sleep angry, but early. Ali watches TV alone and sleeps late, still confused.

Do you see the problem here?

Lack of communication between Aisha and Ali destroys their day by Ayesha still angry at the unresolved issue while Ali still confused at what exactly happened?( Guys can be soooo thick sometimes!) A small misunderstanding can lead to larger issues, thus chipping a good marriage.

Now let's see at what should have happened.