As adults we might be struggling with giving up sugar and have to be reminded constantly by our trainers or doctors to go slow depending on our weight or blood sugar. In the same manner as parents we need to keep reminding our children to finish their tasks or inculcate some new behaviour depending on the feedback we get from their school or their behaviour at home.

As humans we are programmed to take the easy way out. And rather than try new foods with no sugar we might cut out old foods but not replace them with the nutritious foods. So making changes whether in food habits or any other habit takes time, practise and patience, and children are no different.

But as parents remember that you are “training” your kids to behave in a certain manner. So if you have teen kids and have to keep reminding them to wake up, get ready, check their bags every morning you have raised them in a manner for them to “expect your instructions”.  And you will realize how tiring that can be for you as a parent.

Today's video blog, we help you relearn how you can make your life easy as a parent by training your kids in a manner that they not only listen to you, finish their task and there is no need for you to repeat yourself.

Please click on the photo below to watch the video and listen to the 5 strategies:

1)   Are you taking over the task or chore for your child? So we can become impatient and instead of getting the child to do the task himself you as a parent think it’s much easier to do it yourself? Well it is easier no doubt than having to keep repeating yourself, but do think of it as a short term training for long term gain. By being a bit patient you can train your child to finish whatever needs to be done himself so that you can then avoid repeating it in the future.

2)   Give your child clear instructions. When we lose patience and are irritable we can lose sight of what needs to be done and instead go into a negative loop of whining about our child. Take charge of yourself and focus your communication so that the child knows clearly what you are expecting of him, what needs to be done.

3)   Give a time limit. When giving instructions also give him a reasonable amount of time to finish the task plus give him a time limit, a cut off time by when the task needs to be done. This will help in building time-management skills for your child too.

4)   Consequences for not following through. Your child needs to know what will be the consequence of not doing the task, not following through, not getting up on time etc. The easiest consequences are taking away play time, gadgets, outings etc. depending on what is appropriate to your household.

5)   Rewards. Encourage your child’s good behaviour, doing his tasks, following through without repetition by buying him a small gift, going out for a family dinner, a movie and rewarding him.

If you as a parent are at a loss on how to get your child to follow through and build good behaviour and habits – contact sunainaathena@gmail.com to know more about how we help you to stop being tired and exhausted, struggling to get your child to listen. We help your child develop life skills, time-management, communication, confidence etc. to achieve all round academic and personal excellence.

Warmest regards,

Sunaina

Sunaina Vohra

Youth & Family Life Coach

Athena Life Coaching
www.athenalifecoaching.com

Are you a working mother who feels you do not spend enough time on your child's development?

As mothers we tend to be hard on ourselves most of the time - our thoughts raging around how we could have spoken calmly to our child instead of raising our voice, how we could have remembered to dress him up for book day instead of letting the day slip by with him returning home teary eyed, how we could spend more time with our child instead of staying late at work.... The list of how we could be better mothers is endless and for working mothers the list is even longer accompanied with a constant chatter of guilt around less time with your child.

The grass is greener on the other side is an old adage that can aptly be used for the working mum versus the stay at home mum. Usually working mums feel that they are at a disadvantage because they have less number of hours with their child. Working mums can also be overcome with guilt for not doing enough.

Today's blog answers a problem by one such working mother who has written in sharing I feel I don't spend enough time to contribute to my child's development.

Please click on the photo below to watch the video and hear and hear how you can rid yourself of your guilt and take some positive steps to create more bonding with your child in the given time:

“How do I stay focused on one task without getting distracted?”

Given the number of distractions in our environment I see more and more parents complaining about how their children lack focus. Though today's topic: "How can I stay focused on one task and not get distracted" applies to everyone young and old. I myself have found myself on many occasions being tempted to check my emails, update twitter and watch a webinar all at the same time!

Today’s question is around a very important aspect of all our lives. A parent has sent in the question but it is applicable to adults too!

“How do I stay focused on one task without getting distracted?”

Please click on the photo below to watch the video and hear what you need to do to be successful in staying focused:

Are my FRIENDS NOT going to be friends FOREVER?

Some hurdles of growing up can be truly heart-breaking and painful especially in the tender and confusing pre-teen and teen years. Children are struggling with changes in their bodies, hormones and brain, and to add to all these changes any upheavals in their peer groups can be truly devastating.

However, changing values, changing focus, changing priorities, changing interests as children grow into developing their individual identities can create a change in your child’s social groups. You might as a parent have already dealt with or might deal with a bucket of tears when one day your child comes homes declaring that her/his best friend is no longer a friend or he/she is no longer a part of the group and has been abandoned.

This can be an emotionally draining time in your child’s life because friends and peer groups are very important to them as these groups are what helps them create their own identities and when such ‘break ups’ occur it can mean a blow to their own identity. Your child can feel lost and extremely lonely.

 As a parent you can feel at a loss on how to handle this, and this is why a mother of a 12 year old girl called me to ask: How as a parent can I help my daughter who is having problems with her ‘group’?

Please click on the photo below to watch the video and hear what I shared:

How can I communicate with my 14-year-old son who ignores me and does his own thing?

Recently I spoke with a mother of a 14 year old teen boy whose body language and voice emitted disappointment, fear and helpless around parenting her young son. My heart went out to her and I know, sometimes how despite our best interests at heart for our children things just don’t seem to be going in the right direction. Whatever you as a parent say or do seems to antagonize your child even more, with the result that you end up feeling even more confused and at a loss of how you could be a better parent.

As far as your child is concerned, the teenage years can be full of turmoil and confusion and you as a parent may feel helpless and inadequate that despite  doing your best, your child has become unresponsive and indifferent to you increasing the gap in communication.

I share below how I guided this mom who asked: How can I communicate with my 14-year-old son who ignores me and does his own thing?

How and when do I talk with my children about stranger danger?

Given the recent spate of messages on face book and what's app regarding a small boy being approached by some men in a car, I thought it might be a good idea to discuss some safety measures we can take to prevent any unfortunate incidents with our children.

This is a subject that is very difficult for us to talk to our children about and sometimes we do not wish to face the reality that our children can be faced with a dangerous situation from a stranger. Unfortunately there is enough statistics to show us how 'real' the danger of ‘strangers’ is. And however much we would like to push the thought away we need to first face the reality ourselves before empowering our little ones.

As our children begin to grow their wings and leave the safety of their

home to enter the 'real world', stranger danger is a subject that we need to educate them about. 

We will look at 7 strategies to first get clarity on how you as a parent will approach the subject of stranger danger and then help your children outline clear steps on what to say and do incase they face such a danger.

As a parent you might think, that once you have secured admission for your child in a reputed school you could put your feet up for the next thirteen years and at the end of that, out will come your child educated and wise to face college and life.

Unfortunately, many parents who have older children will warn you against any such complacent ideas – because a good school does not equal a good teacher, does not equal a child who will fare well.

Today a mother has written in complaining:

My child has got a terrible math’s teacher and will obviously fare badly, what can I do?

In my life coaching work with both children and parents I tend to argue this particular point on the basis of how we deal with poor leadership in our professional lives. How as a professional, you might be thrown into the deep end to put together a project or a presentation without any background information. What you rely upon to be successful is your sense of responsibility to complete the task and your resourcefulness to get the job despite the lack of information.

What can I do because my child has stopped behaving even after I threaten him with various punishments?

Parenting is a roller coaster ride on most days. The kids seem to be angels on one day and little naughty people on others leaving you guessing on what you are doing wrong or right depending!

Parents tend to struggle with creating some sort of discipline with kids and handing out punishments can seem to be one of the ways. But unfortunately too many punishments can cause your child to actually become immune and it seems like water of a ducks back.

Today an exasperated mother has written in asking:

What can I do because my child has stopped behaving even after I threaten him with various punishments?

How do I help my child who is finding it difficult to get accepted and make new friends in his new school?

When a child joins a new school there are a couple of challenges he or she might face, the toughest being acceptance by classmates and winning friends. And during the pre-teen and teen years this issue gets even more compounded as children tend to form groups based on certain parameters and it gets even tougher for a new student to gain acceptance into one of these closed peer circles.

With the start of the new academic year children moving into new schools or children arriving from other countries have to go through the slow and often challenging process of not only getting accustomed to a new school but also trying to ‘fit in’ and be accepted by their classmates and new friends.

And parents often witness the frustration and breakdown of their child’s self-confidence, sometimes leading to loss of grades and resistance to going to school.

So today’s question by a worried parent who asks:

How do I help my child who is finding it difficult to get accepted and make new friends in his new school?

1)   As children grow into their pre-teen and teen years they tend to grow their identity separate from their parents and family. The single largest influencing factor in the creation of this new identity is their peer group. As a Youth Coach, in my sessions with young children I have found out the labels and names of these peer groups are: ‘The Cool Group’ or ‘The Nerdy Group’ or “The Sporty Group’ and children then form those typical identities to become parts of those groups. So it might take your child some time to discover himself, which group he might best fit into, so give it some time.

2)   During this unsettling period, support and nurture your child as his self-confidence might get a little shaky. Help him to focus on his strengths so as to maintain his self-confidence.

3)   Discuss with your child the characteristics he is looking for in his friends. What kind of friends does he want to make? Sporty? Academics? Chatty?

      What are the characteristics he needs to develop, because to attract good friends, he needs to          be a good friend.

4)   For you to be able to expand your child’s group of friends you could become more active in the parental support group in school. In this way not only would you make more friends, you could also invite other parents children from different classes to your home. You could organize a bowling evening for some children from your child’s class so he has an opportunity to spend time with them outside school.

5)   Encourage your child to foster friendships outside the school through the sports club, music classes or playground.

6)   Role-play. Sit with your child and discuss what he is passionate about, whether it is about a sports personality, music, art, some facts, some fun thing, a new game, something unique that he can share with his classmates and new friends; so that they begin to notice him and want him to be part of their group.

Action: Sit with your child and let him role-play 2-3 things he can talk to his classmates about so as to pique their interest, and help him to break the ice and start new friendships.

Sunaina Vohra

Youth & Family Life Coach

Athena Life Coaching

www.athenalifecoaching.com

Youtube: Athena Life Coaching

FB: Athena Coaching Solutions

Ph: (+971)-56-1399033

How to prepare your child for the new "Back to School" academic year

Dear UAE Mums,

I am absolutely delighted and honored to be sharing my learnings with all you through this wonderful platform created by Hena. And I look forward to personally interacting with you at some point through this journey.

With the countdown to the schools starting we are bidding farewell to the long summer months of sleeping in late, family time, late nights, movies and holidays.

The traffic on the roads has increased; parents are rushing to the shops to organize uniforms, stationery and various things in preparation for children going back to school.

For some kids there is an air of excitement, for others anticipation if they are moving to a new school or new country and yet for others trepidation if the last year was dotted with some unpleasant experiences.

Today we will look at strategies on how to help your children put their best foot forward to start the new academic year on a more sure footing.

The first three strategies mentioned will help your child prepare 'physically for the new academic year'. 

      

1) Get your children into a routine with regard to their sleep and food patterns. Sleeping and waking up on time, eating healthy foods and at the right times.

2) Buying your children new school items like bags, stationery, shoes etc. so that they look forward to the new academic year with freshness.

3) Clearing their desks and the physical environment in which they will be doing their homework and projects.

Besides looking at their physical environment and needs it is also imperative to spend time clearing any 'mental' or 'emotional' baggage they might be carrying from the previous year. 

4) Clearing their minds of any negative situations and experiences in their past academic year by helping them focus on what they learnt from those experiences. If you child has not done as well academically, or a close friend has moved to another school or country or your child was bullied, it is important to sit with your child and change his perspective around that experience by focusing on what he learnt and how he would deal with it in the future.

5) Setting up new and positive belief systems by focusing their attention on things they did well in. Go through the past year and pick all the moments of success and focus your child's attention on their achievements and strengths. You can put up visual reminders, photos, pictures of their achievements so that it boosts their self-confidence for the coming new year.

6) Help your child set new goals on all areas of their life – from academic goals, sports, music to important life skills like building self-confidence, improving communication skills, how to deal with peer pressure, how to improve focus etc. Life skills are skills that will help them not only become resilient but also leaders in their class and community.

7) Talk to your child about the challenges that they might face while working towards their goals and the support they might need from you as parents, their teachers or coaches like tennis coach, golf coach or a life coach who helps to up level them to their next benchmark.

By putting the above strategies in place not only on the physical level but also ensuring that your child is mentally and emotionally ready to embark on a new school year will ensure that he has a successful year.

Wishing all UAE Mums and your children a fabulous NEW academic year! May our children succeed in their individual goals and together create a world of peace, love and harmony!

Sunaina Vohra

Youth & Family Coach

Athena Life Coaching

www.athenalifecoaching.com