Do you feel like a broken or stuck recorder? Repeating the same
instructions day in and day out. As soon as a regular school routine sets in,
it does bring parents lots of relief but it also means coping against time.
Brush your teeth, do your homework, go to bed, wake up - as parents it feels
like we are a stuck record!
Today's blog helps you to apply easy strategies to get your
children to not only listen to you but also follow through on auto-pilot!
How do I get my
child to follow a routine without repeating myself?
Today we will look at strategies in which you can communicate in
a manner that your child understands and thereby follows the everyday routine
without constantly being reminded by you.
1) Have a list of to-dos put up where your child can see
it. If your child is too young then put up photos, visuals of the things you
want him to do before going to school – like brushing teeth, combing hair,
taking his lunch box etc. In the case of older children you can just put up
reminder lists where they see them and follow through.
2) Before
you start to say something to your child or give him instructions to follow,
check whether you have his attention. Just the way when you are busy
reading this email and someone calls for your attention, you are so rapt in
reading this, that you miss out half the words. In the same way if your child
is doing something, then check whether he is listening to you.
3) After
you have got his attention, make eye contact and speak to him. And the
best way to teach your child the skills of eye contact is when you model it
for him. So when you are reading this and your child calls out, you need to
stop looking at your computer or phone and turn and look at your child. This
models to your child the importance of eye contact when speaking and listening
to others.
4) As a
parent you are in a position of authority, however it is important to see
his point of view. Is your child engrossed in his favourite activity, just
the way you get absorbed by your favourite TV serial, that you blank out the
rest of the world. Sometimes children are enjoying themselves watching their TV
serial, reading a book or activity that they unconsciously block you out. So
see your child’s point of view when giving him instructions.
5) Seek
your child’s cooperation by firstly asking him in a tone, which is warm,
loving and firm. There is no need to give orders. Give your child a choice of
time or activity asking him if he could do the required task immediately or
prefer to do it after 15 minutes. That way you empower your child and make him
feel responsible by gaining his cooperation. This also helps to inculcate
decision-making skills by making choices.
6) KISS –
keep your instructions and communication short and simple. On busy
school days children are on limited time, and to make the most of what you want
them to do make your communication simple and to the point.
Action: Together with your child put together a to-do list he needs to
follow before school and after he comes back from school. When you do this
together, he has a say in it and feels responsible for completing the tasks.
Sunaina Vohra
Youth & Family Life Coach
Athena Life Coaching
FB: Athena Coaching Solutions
sunainaathena@gmail.com
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