Thursday, 27 February 2014

Family issues Q&A

Assalamualaikum mums!

Today I will be answering some queries submitted to me by our members. I do write about relationships and family issues and I will try me best to give the answer to solve your problem. 

Although the members would prefer to remain anonymous, I will paste the questions in exact same manner as I received them so you can understand the gist.

Question #1 
My sister is in mom house bcoz her mother in law rules in house, her husband is with his mom. I feel so bad. Been trying to send sis to her in laws but she don't agree. Since 14 yrs now marriage. Her daughter is 12 yrs. But husband and mom sit at home they r not trying to bring back family.

Answer: Mum inlaws have always been a problem in every household I have ever known! Lol. This doesn't mean that she is at fault every single time. 
Here's a strategy. Try and put your self in her shoes. She borns her son with God knows how many difficulties, raises him up, feeds him clothe him, teaches him life. And then gets him married off to a woman who wants her out of their lives forever? Kinda hard to let go of her little baby that easily eh? You have to make your sister understand that a woman who raised up her husband with her heart and soul, and who controlled his life forever, is not going to give him up that easily. Plus the fact that she is older and thus more experienced in all of life issues. And your sister is very lucky to have a husband who stands by his mothers side no matter what, instead of stranding her at a minutes notice. Ask your sister how would she feel if her own daughters husband kicked her out of her life without any contact or anything. Heart wrenching right? 
The best thing to do here would be to make peace with her MIL, go back to her husband and home. Staying at her mom's is affecting your sister's and her daughter's future and mentality. I understand it can be very tough to have to live your life under someone else's control, but sometimes compensations has to be made in order to make peace in life. 
Ask her to be very sweet and patient towards her MIL which in turn will please her husband. And that's the main goal of every marriage right, to have a happy husband who then showers gifts and credit cards on you ;).
 I hope your sister understands and decides to go back on her own instead of waiting for him to come to her.

Question #2
Plz could u give some opinion on how to deal with hubby who's still into friends and more committed to them than wify.

Answers: My main belief when it comes to any marriage's the wife who either keeps it together or breaks it down. In other words, you as a wife have to constantly work on keeping your marriage strong and interesting. I know it's sounds unfair, but that's just how God made guys, they lose interest very easily. 
Six years is not a long time for a relationship to lose spice already. 
Try to reign him in with your charm and looks. I mean which guy can ever choose his friends over a hot looking wife waiting with a hotter meal right? The little things count so much. Like when he is about to get home, dress up...the way HE likes it. Spritz on some perfume and put on some eye liner. Wear an interesting choice of lingerie later on. Call him up at work. Cook the things HE likes. And don't let your marriage get monotonous, keep coming up with interesting stuff every few days. 
Don't be a good wife, be a hot girlfriend to him. And slowly his weight of interest will move from his friends to you. But don't cut him off from his friends completely, and don't make it obvious that you hate his friends. Just attract him more towards you. I'm sure it will be a matter if time before he starts ignoring his friends calls just to spend time with you. 
I really really hope it works out for you two. If anyone else has any questions, please inbox me and I will try to help as much as possible.

Have a great weekend everyone, love you all! XOXO


  1. If not friends but his mom sis than

    1. That's a completely different topic then, because there is a huge difference between just friends and relatives. You can't really prevent your husband from giving more attention to his family. And they say, if you can't beat em, join em. :) just get friendlier with moms sister too.

  2. Hi want to discuss about a family can I ask