Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Communication - The solution

Good morning mums!

Today I will be talking about issues related to maternal relationship, that is relationship between a husband and a wife. Something we all want to discuss, but never get the guts to *wink wink*.

Afcourse no marriage is perfect and no bond the strongest. We have all had our issues from day to day. And those issues tend to build up these frustrations inside us, specially when we got no one close to discuss with. And that specially goes for most of our members living in the UAE away from their mommies and sisters.

That leads me to our topic for today, Communication.

90% of issues between a husband and wife is because of lack of communication between the two. Misunderstandings are created when one of the spouses misinterprets the others actions or words. Let's have a case study here, a very 'in the season' too.

It's Valentines Day. Aisha and Ali have been together for almost 5 years now. Every Valentine's he sends Aisha a bouquet of roses and chocolates through the mail. This valentines things are different. Ali left for work early today. Aisha has been excitedly waiting for her roses and chocolates since morning. Day passes slowly, and night falls. Ali comes home to a very depressed and angry wife. He has had a long day at work and was hoping to spend some quality time with his loving wife, but Aisha's bizarre behavior really confuses him. He has dinner alone. The silence is deafening. This angers him since he doesn't understand what he did wrong. Ayesha sits in her bedroom reading her book and goes to sleep angry, but early. Ali watches TV alone and sleeps late, still confused.

Do you see the problem here?

Lack of communication between Aisha and Ali destroys their day by Ayesha still angry at the unresolved issue while Ali still confused at what exactly happened?( Guys can be soooo thick sometimes!) A small misunderstanding can lead to larger issues, thus chipping a good marriage.

Now let's see at what should have happened.

Ali walks in from work. Ayesha is angry and hurt but still serves dinner and sits at the table to figure out what went wrong. Ali notices the silence, and resolves to talk to his wife during dinner. As Ali starts eating, Aisha asks about Ali's day at work. He relates how very stressful his workplace has become for the last week and he doesn't even have time to breathe, let alone eat. Aisha feels sorry for him and decides to go easy on him. She mentions the lack of any valentine presents this year, and asks nicely if he forgot. Ali smacks his forehead, and said he totally forgot because of the work stress, but he will make it up to her right now. He gets up from the chair right at the moment, leaving his food unfinished and urges Aisha to put on her shoes so they can go out for a nice dinner and a romantic walk afterwards. Aisha is happy as a bird. Ali is happier. They had the best rest of the day...and night.

See the difference?

So dear mums. If you ever have ANY issues, and I underline 'any' because this is the solution for 90% of your marriage problems, just talk it out.

Look for the right time, when everyone is calm and their are no disturbances, and nicely talk it out. I say nicely because some of us have the tendency to scream it out, while adding a little unpleasant things to it too, which again makes the matters worse. Don't do that, calm your temper and have a quiet chat. Trust me it works wonders.

Infact talking to your husband should not only be during crisis. Take some time out of your busy schedule and have tiny talks with your husband on regular basis. Keep yourself updated to what's happening in his life, and tell him all about yours. This improves understanding between you two and makes the bond stronger IA.

Hope I got my point across quite clearly this week, but if you have any questions at all....please feel free to ask.

May Allah always keep our marriage as strong as day one. Ameen.


  1. Excellent topic Aruba, nicely explained. Thanks for sharing

  2. Ya i know i talk and share with husband but he still hide.he share things with his mom sis .i feel he love them only.

  3. Liked the detailed example for explaining, yes communication is the best solution to fix the gaps between any relation. But usually i have seen there are many ppl who never initiate talking cz of their egotic nature. N this point is very helpful to keep chit chating abt huby's work environement to keep oneself updated of his work load, stress and other external factors that influence once mood .