Sunday, 7 September 2014

How to Increase Emotional Quotient in Kids

Every body is unique, with their own unique distinguishing personalities and children are no exception. And giving that the world can throw a curve ball at you in the form of stress, health issues, social issues and a host of other troublesome situations, having a child with a strong EQ or Emotional Quotient can be the deciding factor if he gets out of it with success or failure. I did a feature some time back on tips to increase IQ (click here), but EQ is no less important and in our endeavors to set kids up in one department, we often don't pay much attention to the other. Researchers are now confident that both are equally important for a good success story. What is EQ then? It is simply the ability to recognize one's own emotions as well as the emotions of others and respond to them in a healthy way. So here are a few tips to do just that:

1. Start Early: By promptly seeing to you baby's distress, maintaining good eye contact and talking and reading often will build trust and the base for developing further skills.

2. Acceptance: As kids grow, their temperaments begin to peek through. They may react to a certain situation in a completely different way than you would, but you need to accept, empathize and respect that.

3. Self Soothing Tactics: Whenever you feel your child is escalating, teach him how to calm down, Either change the settings, have a glass of water, count down from 10, because no conflict can be resolved unless not done with a cool mind.

4. Circle of Influence: Teaching children very early on to give it their best and then leave it is the best strategy for their future. Dealing with things that are they can change over things they just can't can save them a lot of despair.

5. Smile: Showing a smile engages anybody immediately. Teach kids to have a happy demeanor over being grumpy and moody (even though that's the definition of your average teenager).

6. Praise, Give and Receive: This has to be done genuinely, not your proverbial buttering up. There is a difference. Sincerity can be felt even by little children. If you are not sincere in your appreciation, then don't give it. But teach kids to see the good in a bad situation.

7. Distractions don't work: To simply dismiss your child's feelings because you think he'll get over it soon enough is sometimes not the way to go. Sometimes we just divert their attentions elsewhere when in reality their feeling need seeing to. You know your child better than anyone and can be the best judge of that.

8. Listening: This is a valuable asset to develop. It is the first step in starting to solve any issue. In our haste and judgmental views, we just don't take the time to listen. Teach your child to listen even if they are unagreeable to those view points. This will only happen if you become the role model.

We as parents need to get pro active in this area. What with all the materialism and all the 'isms' it falls to us to provide our children with these basic skills to empower them to their fullest capacities in dealing with the emotional baggage and turbulence that they will face in the journey of their lives.


  1. Good read..... A reminder, thanks for sharing.

  2. Perfect advices..thanku Rahima :)

  3. Thanks Rahima, Truly a must read,I too agree, with a little effort from us parents definitely we can influence and improve our kids EQ!!