Sunday 8 June 2014

Emotional Turmoil in Children and my Absence

The loss of a parent is never an easy thing for a child, and the opposite is virtually impossible to even comprehend. Children lose their parents in a variety of different ways which may not include death. It could be that a parent falls prey to some disabling disease that prevents him or her to function as a parent in full capacity. Or it could mean separation between the spouses due to irreconcilable differences. The result is that one parent becomes the primary caregiver, and the other who may have so much to offer, often loses the opportunity to do so due to what I can only deem as fate.


Children suffer. They feel hurt and abandoned. This comes out in various ways. The older the child, the more he or she will express the grief in anger related outbursts. The younger the child, the more insecure he will feel.

As most of you already know I am a mother to six children ranging from the ages 2.5 to 14. Due to some unavoidable personal issues, my circumstances led me to be apart from my children whom I love very dearly. And yet in my heart I know that the environment would not foster positivity for anyone involved. Under these extremely difficult circumstances I keep praying for them and their and success in life. These children are the light of my life, the truly good that I have done is having borne them. The tears flow as I write this post now.

As so many of you have given me so much love and appreciation, I felt I should explain my absence so this was it. The founder of UAE Mums Hena, declined to remove me as an author of this blog despite my requests. I felt that in order to move forward with my life I had to let this group go. But I slowly realized that I could still contribute in some capacity, since I still feel like I can contribute.So it is with great pride I say that I intend to continue in my efforts to bring you a weekly post on education/parenting.

As for my children, they are too young to understand the dynamics of the extreme circumstances that led to this moment today. Mothers know that they would sacrifice most of what they have to be with their children obviously and hence can relate to turmoil I feel right now. 

God has a plan for everyone, and He has never let me down so far. I have a goal now... what I will not be able to do for my own kids, I will do for the kids in my society. I will try to leave a legacy behind for my children which they may aspire to one day in the future, perhaps after my life time. 

This goes out to all mothers reading this today, hug your kids tight right now. Fate can deal you some unexpected blows. Don't take the time you have with them for granted. As for my children, I will be there for them in whatever capacity I am able to be. 

When your child misbehaves, it is simply because he wants something that you have not understood. When he is defiant, it is because he is hurt. If he lashes out it is because he wants you to pay attention to him. If he cries it's because he wants you to turn towards him. Think the next time a tear falls down that innocent face. Take it from someone who can only just wipe her own.



29 comments:

  1. I teared up reading this. I know it comes straight from your heart. I cant even imagine how u feel

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    1. Jazak Allah for your moral support. It is much appreciated.

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  2. U r really brave woman, u rem i told u that u inspired me alot. My prayers are always with you. Allah almighty give u strength and things get better soon.

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    1. Jazak Allah, keep me in your prayers and my kids also.

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  3. this is so heart wrenching... i dont want to evn comprehend wht u r going through... to give up ur children for whatevr reason... couldnt hav been easy fr u... Allah Bless u nd ur kids nd all those unfortunate.
    this was a remarkable piece

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    1. All I ask is for you to keep them and myself in your prayers.

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  4. Raheema you are one among the ladies whom I admire and respect.Trust in God everything will be fine. He is always here for us, to give us strength and lift our hearts when all seems hopeless!! Take care dear!!

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    1. I agree with you. Thanks for kind thoughts.

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    2. We are always there with you dear!!!

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  5. As a mom I feel your pain and I can clearly see how strong a woman you are. Allah only burdens his most beloved so in a way you are the favored one amongst us and an inspiration to us all for being able to talk about your predicament with such positive conviction and faith in The Almighty. May HE grant you n your children the best of both worlds. Ameen

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  6. its soo heart breaking reading this ... as a mom myself can relate to ur pain.. may Allah help u though ur pain and as Allah examines only his beloved more.. may he bless u always and u and ur children be blessed with best of everything ameen

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    1. Bless you for your supportive words. Take care.

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  7. Rahima I know u through Uae mums..what ever small things I have asked u.u answered right away..ur blogs about parenting inspires me...i pray Allah give u strength..and u will b with them very soon Inshallah..

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    1. You are very kind to say so. Keep praying for me.

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  9. Cried aft I finished reading it:( wer with u wat else can I say....its so wonderful being called a mom....may Allah bless us all with this joy ameen

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    1. Yes being a mom is a wonderful thing. I just don't know if I'll hear that word addressed to me again.

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  10. May Allah protect your children and guide them to become wonderful beings..

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  11. Nothing to say..just a pray that Allah bless u and ur kids always...just a second's thought to live without my child..is breathtaking...cant even imagine how u r feeling..u and ur kids will always b in ur prayers

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  12. May Allah solve ur problems. It's very touchy blog , I was abt to cry.ur a strong woman we all know . inshallah u will be with ur children.be strong and positive.

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  13. Sorry forget to write name in above comment

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  14. Think the next time a tear falls down that innocent face. Take it from someone who can only just wipe her own.

    these words pinched me - May Allah protect your children always - I salute you Rahima !

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