Wednesday, 5 November 2014

How can I communicate with my 14-year-old son who ignores me and does his own thing?

Recently I spoke with a mother of a 14 year old teen boy whose body language and voice emitted disappointment, fear and helpless around parenting her young son. My heart went out to her and I know, sometimes how despite our best interests at heart for our children things just don’t seem to be going in the right direction. Whatever you as a parent say or do seems to antagonize your child even more, with the result that you end up feeling even more confused and at a loss of how you could be a better parent.

As far as your child is concerned, the teenage years can be full of turmoil and confusion and you as a parent may feel helpless and inadequate that despite  doing your best, your child has become unresponsive and indifferent to you increasing the gap in communication.

I share below how I guided this mom who asked: How can I communicate with my 14-year-old son who ignores me and does his own thing?

Please click on the photo below to watch the video:

1)   Wipe the slate clean with your child. Sit him down and talk with him and discuss how things haven’t been going well and ask him how he wants to communicate that would help him be more responsive. Listen to his side of the story with patience and an open mind.
2)   Is your child physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and therefore non-responsive?
     Sometimes our children are so over loaded with school and activities that they might just be too exhausted and appear withdrawn and uncommunicative. 
3)   If you child is over doing the television or lap-top, ask yourself whether you are creating the right environment at home for your child to unwind and relax. Or are you leaving him at his own devices and therefore he is migrating to these gadgets? Are you creating time to relax together as a family - like having dinner together or discussing a new book or news?
4)   As parents, are you as a husband and wife communicating the same parental rules and regulations? Or is there a different set of instructions given to the child so he ends up more confused?
5)   And lastly has your child crossed into the no communication zone where whether you love him or you lose your temper there is almost no impact on him? Then in that case you will need a neutral party to help your child and you build a bridge of communication and understanding. 

      In the meantime let me know how the above strategies helped you to communicate better with your child.

     Sunaina Vohra
     Youth & Family Life Coach
     Athena Life Coaching
     Ph: (+971) 56-1399033 

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